I tried for most of my life to be on time to things. I make it most of the time and am sometimes late, sometimes early. Now that I have a little girl, I'm pretty sure I'll never be anywhere on time again. I'll give you an example. The other day I attempted to go to Walmart for a little grocery shopping (Yes I know Walmart is horrible in many, many ways. Please spare me the details. I feel horrible about going there but I live in the South and there is little choice).
Anyway...I decide to go grocery shopping and get a couple of gifts with cards etc, all of which I can get at the Wally world. This is how my morning went.
7:30: Mommy and baby up. Baby very happy, giggly, wants breakfast. Mommy blurry eyed and tired...gives baby breakfast.
8:00: Baby fed, diapered, dressed and giggling under an APA approved "toy" while Mommy attempts to get started on the day by feeding the cats, starting laundry, loading dishwasher, and fixing breakfast.
8:15: Attempt to have breakfast...eat half a banana before baby decides "toy" is not fun.
8:16: Pick up baby, attempt to eat breakfast while holding baby and making funny faces.
8:18: Abandon breakfast as baby spits up for the first time this morning. Change bib
8:20 to 9:00: Play with baby in an attempt to combat the brain damage caused by "Desperate Housewives" being played in the background during yesterday's afternoon feeding. (Does anyone really think Teri Hatcher is pretty? She's all pokey and sharp).
9:01 to 9:30 Attempt to shower, put on lotion and make-up and clothing while baby is asleep.
9:31: baby still asleep..attempt to dry hair
9:35: Baby awake, crying....hair now fuzzy
9:36: Change baby outfit (first time) due to spit up. Wipe spit from back on my own arm and neck. Decide baby wipe is as good as a shower.
9:45: Baby and Mommy dressed. Diaper bag in hand, ready to go....realize have not put in breast pads in case of leakage at Walmart. Dang...back in house, baby in playpen, run upstairs to pad self.
9:50: Double up on pads as baby is crying (hates playpen for some reason now) and will need the re enforcement already.
10:00 Out to car with baby and diaper bag...baby spits up missing bib and burp cloth completely nailing mommy directly on shoulder.
10:02 Second baby wipe shower of the day. Decide we're just going to Walmart and don't need to change shirt.
10:06 Wrestle baby into car seat, placing pacifier and wipes within arm's length
10:10 Pull out into driveway...forgot grocery list...decide just to wing it.
10:15 Forgot wallet...back to house...get wallet
10:16 Still forgot grocery list
10:27 Arrive at Walmart
10:30 Look at feet while getting out of car realizing haven't had a pedicure in months and toes now resemble trolls feet. Damm
10:35 Answer cell phone...think of a thousand ways to hurt husband when he askes why it took so long to get to the grocery store.
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3 comments:
Yup -- this post makes me laugh. And then cry at the memory. Every morning was like this for us for months. I don't know when it stopped, but now that JD is 5, it only takes us an extra hour in the morning to get out instead of three. How's that for a light at the end of the tunnel?
And I didn't even comment on the multiple diaper blow outs prior to leaving the house. But it's all made better by that baby smile,right. Have fun in NY
This is your best post ever...very, very funny! I suppose this is what I have to look forward to in the upcoming months.
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